It might be construed that I am jumping on the bandwagon but the particular issue now being spoken about is pretty important. It concerns the issue of sexual harassment in schools. Highlighted through the splendid work and courage of one lady Soma Sara with her website ‘Everyone’s Invited’. Everyone’s Invited was was set up last year as a place where victims, mostly in schools, are encouraged to record their experiences of sexual assault and abuse. It features accounts from university-age students to pupils as young as nine. They range from reports of people being drugged and raped at parties to explicit images being shared around. Soma reported a "rape culture" is "endemic" within the education system.
But how do we think this happens? Let’s look at our culture as shown in the media for starters – newspapers with scantily clad ladies, full-on articles about sexual gratification for women (the Big ‘O’), all in the most widely sold newspapers in the UK. TV programmes depicting full-on sex, books (the (in)famous ‘Fifty Shades’ series and much much more.
Furthermore this has culminated in dress codes, particularly for girls, where the skirts are now so short even a Scot wearing a kilt might blush. In the past I have ended up in a heated argument with a lady in our office when I said a lot of women dress and wear make-up like prostitutes. Now that might have been wrong of me because as the lady said ‘I wear this to feel good’. But I retorted ‘But it also excites non-wanted responses in men’. I suppose I had a point but expressed it in the wrong way. I am not apologising because basically, as we know now, I was right. There are ways of looking good without tons of make-up, micro dresses and skirts, t*ts hanging out, or stuffing bananas up one’s trousers.
Does it sounds banal? Well, it’s up to you but if we want to have a good, well behaving society where everyone but especially young girls feel safe and go about without being molested then we simply will have to look at our behaviour and address the issues.
I know sex is nature’s way to procreate and ensure a species survival. Nature does not give a hoot whether you enjoy the process or not. Sex is merely the way to combine two different genetic make-ups. It is a strong urge but it needs to be controlled in such a way that 1. it is successful and 2. does not interfere with the well-being of participants. Or 3. the well-being of others who could be affected by the behaviour of the participants. Meaning these could be existing children of the relationship.
It will take time to alter our behaviour. Even world-wide faith systems have strong views about sex but still fail to ensure good behaviour. The Rochdale sex abuse horrors being a case in point. Christian leaders too often seem to fall foul of things whether through systems of having to be celibate or through asceticism. But if we want to walk in safety from unwanted attentions we need to address these issues, so let’s get on with it!