This year we don't have the usual pantomime unless you are prepared to stand outside your door and watch a few intrepid persons performing. But we have had and still are watching a pantomime with Ugly Sisters, Dandy, et al. It's called Brexit Negotiations. Yes friends, it has been going nicely for nigh on a year. The Ugly Sisters (Angela and Ursula) have been brilliant but before the end of the year they will be upside down, hanging whilst the audience will be shouting he's (Boris) behind you!! Then we have the Nasty Baron (Michel Barnier) and Dandy (Emmanuel Macron). Dandy is in love with all the female reporters waltzing around and cannot make up his mind which one to ask out for a quick 'how's your father'. The Elf (Boris) is the magic factor of the play wanting to do the best but failing badly every time. In the end good will win, the Elf wins, Dandy will not get the girl, the Baron will emigrate to Luxembourg and appear in the European Court for grossly overstating his importance. And what about the Ugly Sisters? They were never heard of again!
Yes, it's a pantomime alright, you couldn't make it up, could you? Entirely dished up for us, plebs as we are, to believe our elected actually do some work. It was clear from the beginning that some deal or something would be done. All this posturing was and still is, for our benefit. To think our elected are clever, steadfast in the face of the storm, holding the rudder with steely concentration! Steering the Ship of State to the safe port on the horizon. You could not make it up but they did and are playing the pantomime to the very end. At 11.50pm, ten minutes before 2021 the Elf (Boris) will announce his victory and so will the Nasty Baron and the Ugly Sisters will open the champagne supplied by Dandy. He will make a play for the Ugly Sisters because all the female reporters are too busy reporting to their listeners. Just one thing friends, at the end there's no need to applaud.
Ed: A 'quick how's your father' is slang for a bit of 'amour' involving a 'quickie'. Quickie=sex.